Monday, August 16, 2010

If That Attendant Had Been Working for El Al

With acknowledgment to BangItOut.

Top Ten Signs Your El Al Flight Attendant is about to have a Meltdown

10. Dedicates in-flight movie, Dinner for Schmucks, to obnoxious passenger in Aisle 23
9. Midflight, you see her grab two Maccabi beers and a parachute
8. Instead of the "Hava Nagilah" celebratory landing song, you're suddenly listening to Rage Against the Machine
7. 3 words: 2nd-Aisle-Minyan
6. Asks over the loud speaker if the undercover IDF agent can kindly lend her his weapon for a few minutes
5. After telling off the entire flight, pauses and translates the expletives into Hebrew and then Yiddish
4. 15th request for one chasidic hocker to get off their cellphone culminates with phone being confiscated and shoved down nearby girl's tanktop
3. Asks if anyone can assist the Ben-Zonah Family sitting in the 7th row
2. Actually isn't talking back
1. Welcomes everyone to Israel with the words "Welcome to Palestine"


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